I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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