meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
