Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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