New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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