There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
