i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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