your thong is hanging out like whoa
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
