Jerry, you need to find god
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
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She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize