whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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