I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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