i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
