Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
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I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
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It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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