This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
