chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
