hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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