Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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