Too much gin, very little bucket
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
