wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
