Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
