Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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