PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
