So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
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you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize