I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
