...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
