So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
