weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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