I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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