I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
