as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
