why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
