Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
