Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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