Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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