oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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