farters have to be the big spoon...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
