Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
