PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
