someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
