If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
