ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
