yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she peed on how many people?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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