12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize