too bad you live with your parents still
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
