yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
