I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So many bounce houses so little time
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
