please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
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