**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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