My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
