I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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