Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
