she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I need a beard to bite.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it