She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.