five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS