thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
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He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
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I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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