After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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