dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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